A beautiful child,
Dancing in the sun,
Golden and fawn hair,
Alternating as she spins,
Moving and jumping to a musician.
I saw her on a summer walk,
In a city park –
It was years ago.
She started clapping, and laughing,
Tiny clumps of hands patting together.
Her parents stood behind,
Watching her, but seeing something different,
They were embracing.
It was a scene of so much love,
Like being washed in warm suds,
Full of safety, or something like contentment.
Whatever it was,
I wanted that feeling,
I remember suddenly feeling very bad,
Getting mad thoughts –
Thinking I had nothing .
Nothing that could make me as happy as they were.
All the money I’ve made since then,
It doesn’t make me feel better.
August 2010