Poem for Today...

Know

I hurt now
Having only the tangled up late hours,
And the lack of color between waking and eating and sleeping again.

Sometimes I wish I could be among the worst of them all,
And I would know what it is like,
To be more alive that I am now.

April 2008

Sweat

Unbelievable how much one can sweat here. The body armor really amplifies the heat's effect. When I take it off, the back of my uniform is soaked. Not just damp, but soaking wet. But, it's a clean sweat, just pure water seemingly.

I feel the sweat trickle down the inside of my legs. It soaks the tops of my socks and even my boots and their nylon exterior are damp. But, the sensation reminds me-as ever- that I am a fallible human, not a machine.

At least it dries fast.

Poem For Today...

A Different Power of Love


Being so without love,
Or having lost it,
That has a power too.

Forcing a different type of passion,
One that makes me sit in a box,
In the dry desert,
Head bobbing, repentant as a saint.

It compels me to seek solace,
In flaying myself with fatigue,
Begging for more work,
Exercising, until pain brings fast sleep,
Or so one hopes.

Doing anything to un- remember,
Urgently soaking up each moment of the day in activity,
Seeking so hard to make each instant have no thought.

But trying to forget you is like forcing myself to sleep,
It only keeps me awake and thinking.